Stuck? Here’s Where Your Next Step is Hiding.

Confrontation vs. Opportunity

Most people view confrontation as a bad thing. My clients tell me all the time that they would do things: ask for a promotion, stop cooking multiple meals for dinner when they want to eat healthy, renegotiate their job hours so they have time to pursue their passion, or ask their mother-in-law to stop cleaning their house. The WOULD do all of these things, but they don’t like confrontation.

In fact, for many, confrontation is so terrifying that you tear up and get a shaky voice in the process and forget everything you wanted to say, leaving you kicking yourself hours later thinking, “Damn! I should have said…”

But what if you have confrontation all wrong? What if confrontation is not only part of the growth process, but it’s NECESSARY for the growth process? That in avoiding confrontation, you’re actually avoiding the opportunity to create what you want?

There are a few definitions of confrontation, but I’d argue (see what I did there?) that the most popular would be something like this: to face in hostility or defiance; oppose.

In other words — confrontation is a fight. So no wonder your adrenaline is pumping and your heart rate rises — you’re physiologically prepping for a fight. Fight or flight.

But the word “confrontation” actually comes from the Latin words “con,” meaning “with,” and “frons,” meaning “face” or “front.”

So confrontation is also an opportunity to face, or front (confront) something or someone. Which, if you’re trying to grow or reach a goal, you’re inherently trying to change in some way. To change, you have to find your edge, lean into it, step over it — confront it. In other words, FACE IT.

Everything in your life, from your body to your job to your bank account, is a result of the sum of the decisions you’ve made. In other words, you’ve created it. To change it, then, you must embrace confrontation. Not in the negative, argumentative sense. In the Latin root of the word.

To find opportunity to grow and create what you want (which is different than what you have), it is NECESSARY to find confrontation, to seek out what is in opposition to what you want, and face it.

Rather than take the fighting approach, though, seek confrontation as an opportunity to make not only your situation better, but that of the person you’re confronting, as well.

There is always a way to create what you want. Everything is possible.

Think laterally. Here’s an example of lateral thinking:

You’re driving down the road in a torrential downpour, and alongside the road, your spot your best friend, a little old lady, and the love of your life, all desperate to get out of the rain. You have one seat in your car — who do you pick?

Begin to think outside the box. Think way bigger than the solution you have in front of you. Create your vision and work backward to find a solution. When you try to first think of a solution to your problem, your brain automatically loads up all the obstacles to prevent that solution from working.

If you think bigger, you’re more likely to widen your perspective and create more lateral solutions that can solve more problems than just the one in front of your face.

For example: I was getting stuck creating my program, Weightless Health Coaching. I was confronted with all kinds of limitations (some perceived, some real, and some even intentional). And then my coach suggested, “Why don’t you do your weightless health coaching program in outer space?”

The first time I read it, I dismissed it.
The second time, I laughed.
The third time, I thought, “Yeah, why don’t I?”

As a result of this bigger-thinking approach and accepting the idea of coaching in space, I started to think about “weightless” in a physical sense and all the other ways I could create weightlessness: in a pool, a float pod, sensory deprivation chambers, scuba diving, sky diving (okay — so the last one is not weightless). But the idea is that all kinds of exciting opportunities presented themselves as a result of bigger-picture-thinking.

Where are you thinking vertically (analytically, sequentially, selectively) and avoiding confrontation? Confrontation IS — by the way — a lot harder and more argumentative when you’re thinking vertically.

Those places that you’re avoiding are the exact places you need to go to create opportunity, push your edge, and open your range.

Embrace it.

(To find out who gets out of the rain, watch my video below!)